Reads crypto charts with brutal honesty. No hopium, just reality.
Sniffs out suspicious projects before they vanish with your bag.
Breaks down what coins really do—and who they benefit.
Tracks what’s pumping, what’s dumping, and what might rise from the sludge.
Cuts through “zk-rollup, DAO-governed, layer-2” gobbledygook with clean translation.
Helps you build slow and steady stacks with less emotional damage.
We built Cryptopotomus because everyone we know has either:
This bot isn’t hype. It’s clarity.
His voice is cool and ancient, like a swamp creature that’s seen every coin cycle since the Genesis Block. We didn’t want another loud crypto bro. We wanted the vibe of a mythological trader who already knows how it ends—and is just here to warn you before you YOLO into something that sounds like a pasta dish.
He’s one of our favorites because he’s so unbothered. He doesn’t need your gains. He’s already holding the secrets.
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